I find that in this world, all of us are trying to be generally, generally acceptable.

We don’t want to be perceived as too much. We don’t want people to think we are overly religious. We don’t want them to think we are too opinionated, too ambitious, too emotional, too traditional, too liberal, too anything.

So we try to fit ourselves into this conformity just to make us generally acceptable.

But here’s the reality:

If you are acceptable by everybody, you are not really acceptable by anybody.

If you stand for nothing, you will fall for everything.

Whether it is a negative thing or a positive thing, you have to decide that you want to stand for something.

The earlier you pick a side, the better for you.

I say this because there is so much falsehood when it comes to self-pursuit and self-discovery that many people are just doing whatever, however, whenever.

And somehow, we have convinced ourselves that this is freedom.

But I think there is a difference between being free and being without conviction.

You can be open-minded and still have standards.

You can be kind and still have boundaries.

You can love people and still disagree with them.

You can listen to other people’s opinions without allowing every opinion to become your own.

You can change your mind when you discover that you were wrong without becoming a person who has no mind of their own.

You need to know what you believe.

You need to know what you stand for.

You need to know what you will and will not participate in.

Because if you don’t decide these things for yourself, life will decide them for you.

And people will decide them for you.

Your friends will.

Your relationships will.

Social media will.

Your desire to be liked will.

Your fear of being misunderstood will.

And before you know it, you have become a version of yourself that everybody can tolerate but nobody really knows.

That is a dangerous place to be.

I have had seasons where I compromised things about myself because I wanted to be understood. I wanted to be loved. I wanted people to stay. I wanted to avoid being seen as difficult.

And I learned that sometimes, keeping the peace with everyone means declaring war on yourself.

You cannot keep abandoning yourself just to maintain relationships.

You cannot keep shrinking your convictions because someone else is uncomfortable with them.

You cannot keep moving your boundaries because someone keeps testing them.

And you cannot keep betraying what you believe just because you are afraid of being alone.

Compromise will harm you when the thing you are compromising is your identity.

There are things in life you should absolutely compromise on.

Where to eat.

What movie to watch.

But there are things you should not have to negotiate every five minutes.

Your values.

Your dignity.

Your faith.

Your integrity.

Your boundaries.

Your self-respect.

Your convictions.

Those things need a backbone.

And maybe this is your reminder today:

Pick a side.

Not because you think you know everything.

Not because you are incapable of learning.

Not because you are better than everybody else.

But because you have spent enough time getting to know yourself to know what matters to you.

And when you find those things, stand there.

Stand there even when people don’t understand you.

Stand there even when people call you too much.

Stand there even when being agreeable would be easier.

Stand there even when you have to walk away from something you really wanted.

Because there is a version of you that will thank you for not abandoning her just to be accepted.

And here’s the funny thing about standing for something:

The right people will not require you to become less of yourself to stay.

The right opportunities will not require you to betray your values to enter.

The right relationships will not require you to become unrecognisable.

You don’t need to be everyone’s cup of tea.

You just need to be able to look at yourself and know that you didn’t sell yourself for acceptance.

So, , this week, I want you to ask yourself:

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What do I actually stand for?

What are the things I believe?

What are the things I will no longer tolerate?

What are the things I have been compromising just because I want to be liked?

And perhaps most importantly:

Where have I been abandoning myself just to remain acceptable?

Sit with that.

You might be surprised by what you discover.

Stand for something.

And when you find it, don’t move.

And that’s all for now.

Love,
Oluwaseyi

One of the questions I get asked the most is, "How do I know if they're the right person?"

It's a beautiful question.

But I don't think we ask the opposite question nearly enough.

How do I know they're the wrong person?

Because if you cannot recognize what is wrong for you, you'll struggle to recognize what is right for you.

One thing I always say is that this conversation always comes back to standards.

And before we go any further, let's make one thing clear.

Standards are not preferences.

Preferences are things like height, appearance, style, personality quirks, or whether you prefer someone quiet or outgoing.

Standards are the non-negotiables.

They are the qualities that protect your peace, your future, your values, and your well-being.

Because here's the truth.

The wrong person for you has very little to do with how attractive they are.

It has everything to do with how they affect your life.

A person's height has never determined how well they'll love you.

Neither has their income.

Neither has how charming they are.

The question isn't, "Do they look good?"

The question is,

"Can I build a healthy life with this person?"

I like to think of relationships like preparing for a long journey.

Imagine you're travelling for seven weeks.

You wouldn't pack only clothes and leave behind your toothbrush.

You wouldn't forget your passport.

You wouldn't intentionally leave your essentials behind.

Why?

Because the destination matters.

Relationships are no different.

If you're hoping to go from dating to marriage, you're choosing someone to travel through life with.

That means they need to have the essentials required for the journey.

Not perfection.

Essentials.

People grow.

People mature.

People change.

But there are certain foundations that simply cannot be missing.

So...

Here are a few signs you're with the wrong person.

1. You cannot see them in the future you want.

Relationships require compromise.

That's true.

But compromise should never require abandoning your vision for your life.

If every time you picture your future with someone, all you see is confusion, constant conflict, sadness, or settling for less than you truly desire...

Pay attention.

Your imagination is often responding to what your heart already knows.

Love shouldn't make you dread tomorrow.

It should make you excited to build one.

2. You cannot fully be yourself around them.

This one is bigger than people think.

Many people spend the dating stage performing.

Trying to sound cooler.

Trying to be less emotional.

Trying not to seem "too much."

Trying to become whoever they think the other person wants.

But if you have to wear a mask to be loved...

Then they aren't loving you.

They're loving your performance.

The healthiest relationships are the ones where you can laugh loudly.

Cry honestly.

Be silly.

Be vulnerable.

Be imperfect.

Be yourself.

I've met couples who've been together for years and still can't comfortably be themselves around each other.

For me?

That's exhausting.

Home should feel like somewhere you can finally exhale.

3. Your values don't align.

This one is foundational.

As a Christian, I personally couldn't build a life with someone who doesn't share my faith.

Not because they're a bad person.

But because our foundation for life would be completely different.

And values go far beyond religion.

Your values around honesty.

Money.

Family.

Communication.

Faithfulness.

Children.

Purpose.

Conflict.

Forgiveness.

These things shape everyday life.

If you're constantly having to negotiate your deepest convictions just to keep someone around...

You're not building a relationship.

You're abandoning yourself.

4. They don't inspire you to become better.

The right relationship should make both people grow.

Not because someone is trying to change you...

But because you're inspired to become the best version of yourself.

Your partner should celebrate your dreams.

Encourage your goals.

Push you when you're settling.

Believe in your potential even when you forget it yourself.

If someone is comfortable watching you stay small...

They're comfortable watching your potential remain buried.

Love shouldn't shrink you.

It should stretch you.

5. You spend more time confused than at peace.

Healthy relationships aren't perfect.

Disagreements happen.

Misunderstandings happen.

Life happens.

But confusion should never become the normal state of your relationship.

If you're constantly wondering,

"Do they actually like me?"

"Why are they hot today and cold tomorrow?"

"Maybe I'm asking for too much..."

"Maybe I'm overreacting..."

Pause.

Love shouldn't constantly leave you anxious.

The right person brings clarity far more often than confusion.

6. You keep abandoning yourself just to keep them.

This one...

This one changed my life.

If you're always the one apologizing.

Always lowering your standards.

Always accepting less.

Always staying quiet to avoid conflict.

Always giving more than you're receiving.

Then somewhere along the way...

You've stopped choosing yourself.

I know because I've done it.

I've stayed longer than I should have.

I've ignored my intuition.

I've silenced my needs because I thought loving someone meant sacrificing myself.

It doesn't.

Healthy love requires compromise.

It should never require self-abandonment.

I've shared these things because I wish someone had shared them with me.

I've been in relationships where our values didn't align.

I've been in situations where I made myself smaller just so someone would stay.

I've mistaken potential for reality.

I've confused chemistry with compatibility.

And if I'm honest...

None of it brought me peace.

So if you're reading this today, I hope you'll use this letter as an invitation to evaluate, not condemn.

Ask yourself the difficult questions.

Pay attention to the patterns you've been ignoring.

Trust what your life has been trying to teach you.

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Because here's the beautiful thing.

If you can identify what makes someone wrong for you...

You'll begin to recognize what makes someone right for you.

And maybe that's where healthy love begins.

And that's all for now.

Love,
Oluwaseyi

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We often admire greatness, but very few people talk about what it weighs.

We celebrate the millionaires, the innovators, the artists, the leaders, the people who changed the world. We applaud the outcome, but rarely the sacrifice.

People like Elon Musk slept on factory floors trying to keep Tesla alive. Countless entrepreneurs missed birthdays, worked through weekends, and spent years building something no one believed in yet. Athletes train while everyone else is asleep. Writers write when nobody is reading. Creators keep posting when no one is watching.

I’m not saying you should sacrifice your health or your relationships for success. I’m saying this: greatness asks for something. It always has.

The uncomfortable truth is that many people want the reward of greatness without carrying the weight that comes with it.

I think one of the biggest mistakes we make is believing that life should always feel comfortable. Especially if you grew up with struggle, your dream may simply be to finally rest to have enough, to be okay. And there’s nothing wrong with that.

But I also believe that some people have been called to something bigger.

How do I explain it?

It’s that strange feeling where the things everyone else celebrates never quite satisfy you. You achieve something you’ve prayed for, and instead of thinking, “I’ve arrived,” your heart whispers,

“There’s still more.”

Not because you’re ungrateful.

Because you’re carrying the weight of greatness.

Greatness feels like a burden before it feels like a blessing.

It pulls on you. It stretches you. It refuses to let you settle.

Here are a few signs you might be carrying that weight.

1. You don’t know when to stop growing.

You finish one goal, and your mind immediately starts asking,

“What’s next?”

Not because you’re chasing validation, but because stagnation feels unbearable to you.

You aren’t addicted to achievement.

You’re addicted to becoming.

2. No matter what you accomplish, you feel like there’s still more inside of you.

You could receive applause from everyone around you and still feel like you’ve barely scratched the surface.

This isn’t self-hatred.

It’s potential knocking from the inside.

Sometimes the dissatisfaction you feel isn’t because you’re failing.

It’s because you’re settling beneath your capacity.

3. You naturally think about expansion.

You don’t just want something to work.

You wonder how it can work better.

You don’t just ask,

“How do I make this successful?”

You ask,

“How do I make this meaningful?”

Your mind naturally looks for the next level.

4. Comfort makes you uncomfortable.

This one took me a while to understand.

There are seasons where everything is fine.

Nothing is wrong.

Life is peaceful.

Yet something inside you keeps whispering,

“Move.”

Not because you’re restless.

But because you’ve stayed on that mountain long enough.

Sometimes peace is a place to recover.

Sometimes it becomes a place we hide.

Greatness knows the difference.

5. You carry responsibility even when nobody asked you to.

You’re the one thinking about how things can improve.

You’re the one who notices problems and immediately begins imagining solutions.

You don’t just consume.

You create.

You don’t just complain.

You build.

That’s the mindset of someone carrying the weight of greatness.

6. You cannot be casual about your life.

This one hits me deeply.

I’ve tried.

I’ve tried blending in.

I’ve tried lowering my expectations.

I’ve tried doing just enough.

But every single time, something inside me refuses to stay there.

It’s almost as though mediocrity feels heavier than hard work.

And maybe that’s because when you’ve been called for more, living beneath your potential becomes its own burden.

I put this together because, if I’m honest, I see many of these habits in myself.

From a very young age, I just knew there had to be more to my life.

Not in a prideful way.

Just this persistent feeling that I wasn’t created to merely exist I was created to contribute.

There have been seasons where I ignored that feeling.

Seasons where I became comfortable because everyone around me was comfortable.

Seasons where I stopped pushing because I didn’t want to be “too much.”

But every time I settled, something inside me felt restless.

Maybe you’ve felt that too.

If so, don’t ignore it.

That restlessness might not be anxiety.

It might be purpose asking you to move.

Being called to greatness is one thing.

Pursuing it with diligence is another.

Your potential will never become your reality simply because it exists.

It becomes reality because you choose to act on it.

So if you’ve been waiting for a sign, maybe this is it.

Leave the comfort that has been keeping you small.

Because greatness isn’t waiting for the perfect version of you.

It’s waiting for the version of you that decides to begin.

Carry the weight.

One day, you’ll be grateful you did.

And that’s all for now.

Love,
Oluwaseyi

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Today, I want to talk to you about something incredibly heavy, yet profoundly simple.

Many times, I meet people who deeply want to change their lives. They talk about how they want better for themselves, how they don’t want to repeat the same cycles of trauma they went through with their parents, and how they refuse to become perpetrators of the abuse they survived.

But oftentimes, they say all the right things, yet do absolutely nothing to avoid repeating those exact patterns.

Look at it this way: if 1+1=2, and you keep doing 1+1, you will always get 2. A person who wants a life that equals 4 must step out of the 1+1 system and get to the point where they are doing 2+2.

I know that sounds like simple mathematics, but I need you to understand the psychology behind it. If you keep doing the same thing, you will keep getting the same outcome. Wanting to change your life isn’t enough; doing the corresponding action is where the transformation actually lives.

Seeing My Heart

I say this because it’s important for you, as my reader, to see my heart. For a very long time, I wanted to change certain things about myself. I wanted to change my weight. I wanted to change my life. I wanted to change so much. But every single day, I kept doing the exact same things, and nothing changed.

Eventually, I told myself I was going to get back to the gym. And I did. But let me tell you the truth: every single morning since I started, I wake up with some form of physical discomfort or mental resistance that tries to hinder me from going.

I still go. Even if I go later than I planned, I show up.

As a medical doctor, I want to tell you about the psychology of habit. If you do not consciously change your habits, you will accidentally end up with a life you do not want.

Here are the 5 steps to break the cycle. If you apply them judiciously, your life will change.

Step 1: Face the Reality of Your Current Situation (Stare Down Your Demons).

Write down every single thing you feel is wrong with your life. Yes, this might feel counterintuitive, but you need to see them clearly. Write it out raw: I am overweight. I am disorganized. I am always late. I don’t know how to plan.

You have to look them in the eye. You cannot defeat an enemy you refuse to face. Step one forces you to stand face-to-face with the gruesome enemy trying to wreck your life.

Step 2: Define the Alternative

Now, write down the exact kind of life you actually want to have. Flip the script. If Step 1 was exposing the demon, Step 2 is mapping out the rescue mission. What does the healthiest, most healed version of you look like?

Step 3: Map Out the Corresponding Actions

What are the actions that will actually take you there? Write them down. If you want to lose weight, you know you need to eat less, exercise, and stop binge eating. But go deeper: you might need to find the root of your emotional eating. If you want a healthy relationship, you have to start healing your insecurities. Identify the actual work required.

Step 4: Embrace the Process (Small Daily Steps)

The reason people quit is because they try to do three months’ worth of change in a single day. In the psychology of habit, sustainable change requires a process. It takes daily showing up.

Decide daily: “Today, I will take one step. I will do something opposite to what the ‘usual’ me would do.” If the usual you sleeps for 15 hours, today you choose to get up and read. Personally, I have started writing down an itinerary for my day the night before. I look at it and ask myself, “Have I done everything here?” If not, I remind myself that I owe it to myself to finish it.

Step 5: Build an Environment of Accountability

The brain is wired to take the path of least resistance. If you rely solely on willpower, you will fail when you are tired. You must design an environment that makes bad habits hard and good habits easy. Put your gym clothes out the night before. Delete the apps that distract you. Put your charger in another room so you don’t doom scroll. Surround yourself with people or systems that hold you to a higher standard. Your environment will always beat your willpower in the long run.

Enough of the Excuses

I want to say this very carefully: Enough of the excuses when it comes to your life.

Yes, you grew up in a messed-up family. Yes, you went through things you shouldn’t have. I read a book recently where the author went through unimaginable trauma, but his life turned out completely differently. He noted that you can be cowardly and complain all day about the environment you grew up in, but guess what? If you don’t change anything now, you will end up repeating that exact same life.

So I write to you today to ask a hard question: Do you actually want to change your life, or do you just want to keep crying about what happened in the past?

The choice is yours, but the math doesn’t lie.

I do hope you apply these steps. I am rooting for you.

Love,

Oluwaseyi

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Hey there,

Do you remember when the internet was obsessed with saying “Delulu is the Solulu?”

It was everywhere.

People joked about it. Made memes about it. Used it whenever someone was aiming way above their current reality.

And honestly?

The older I get, the more I think there was some truth hidden inside the joke.

Because if you really think about it, every remarkable thing begins as delusion.

Before something becomes reality, it first exists as an idea that sounds ridiculous.

At some point, someone looked at the world and thought:

“What if people could connect with each other online from anywhere in the world?”

That sounded ridiculous.

Someone else thought:

“What if cars could run on electricity?”

Ridiculous.

Someone else thought:

“What if a Black man became President of the United States?”

Impossible.

Until it wasn’t.

The truth is that every breakthrough is first laughed at.

Every invention.

Every company.

Every movement.

Every dream.

At some point, somebody believed something that nobody else could see.

And that belief looked like delusion.

So why shouldn’t you be a little delusional too?

Why shouldn’t the life you dream about happen to you?

Why shouldn’t you build the thing?

Why shouldn’t you write the book?

Why shouldn’t you start the business?

Why shouldn’t you meet the love of your life?

Why shouldn’t you become the person you imagine yourself becoming?

I think many of us spend too much time being realistic.

We spend our mental energy imagining everything that could go wrong.

We rehearse failure.

We prepare for disappointment.

We anticipate rejection.

And then we wonder why our lives feel small.

What if you spent that same energy imagining possibility?

Not fantasy.

Possibility.

What if you allowed yourself to believe that things could actually work out?

What if you believed that the future could be bigger than your current circumstances?

What if you stopped renting out your mind to fear?

Because here’s something I’ve been thinking about lately:

If your mind can imagine it, then somewhere in the realm of possibility, it exists.

Think about that.

The writer who imagined artificial intelligence before it became mainstream.

The inventor who imagined technology that didn’t exist.

The entrepreneur who imagined a company before there was a single customer.

The dream always exists before the evidence.

And that’s why I think being delusional gets a bad reputation.

Sometimes “being delusional” is simply having the courage to believe in something before everyone else does.

Including yourself.

So here’s what I want you to do.

Close your eyes for a moment.

Imagine your ideal life.

The life you secretly want.

The life you’re almost afraid to admit you want.

What do you see?

Write it down.

Every part of it.

The career.

The family.

The impact.

The peace.

The money.

The experiences.

Write it all down.

And don’t censor yourself.

Because the moment you stop limiting your imagination, you start expanding what is possible.

There’s a story in Scripture where God takes Abraham outside and tells him to look at the stars.

To count them if he can.

Not because God needed Abraham to learn mathematics.

But because Abraham’s vision was too small for what God wanted to do through him.

Sometimes your greatest limitation is not your resources.

It’s your imagination.

You are thinking too small.

So yes.

Believe in impossible things.

Imagine a life that feels too big,
too beautiful,
too unlikely.

Then take one small step toward it every day.

Because delusion alone changes nothing.

But delusion paired with action?
That changes everything.

So dare to ask for more.

Expect more.

Not because you’re entitled.

But because possibility expands the moment you stop treating your dreams like they are impossible.

After all, every reality was once somebody’s ridiculous idea.

And that’s all for now.

Love,

Oluwaseyi🤍

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The last time I wrote to you, I said I would write about love.

And today feels like one of those days.

I would describe myself as a hopeful romantic.

I love love.

I love the idea of finding someone and choosing them every day. I love thoughtful gestures, long conversations, and all the little things that make being with someone feel special.

And I think many of us are like that.

Even the meanest person you know becomes a little softer when they fall in love.

Have you ever noticed that?

Love has a way of lowering your guard.

It makes you want to spend more time with someone. It makes you want to share more of yourself. It makes you want to build something with another person.

And that in itself is beautiful.

The problem is that if you’re not careful, somewhere between loving someone and wanting to be loved by them, you can abandon yourself.

Some time ago, I found myself deeply in love.

Maybe this is a story that is still unfolding. Maybe it is a story that is still dying. Maybe it is a story I will write about more someday.

But this particular love required me to abandon myself many times.

And then something happened.

You know how people say that after 25 your frontal lobe develops?

For those who don’t know, the frontal lobe is the part of your brain responsible for things like decision-making, judgment, and impulse control.

According to science, it finishes developing around your mid-twenties.

Well.

One afternoon, I was standing in my kitchen doing the dishes.

I was crying.

Not cute crying.

Ugly crying.

The kind of crying where you’re convinced your life is over.

I missed this person.

I loved this person.

This person wasn’t texting me back.

And in my mind, that meant everything was ending.

Then suddenly, something happened.

I cannot explain it.

It’s like my brain grabbed me by the shoulders.

I snapped back into myself.

And a voice inside me said:

“Wait.”

“You’re crying over someone who isn’t choosing you.”

“You’re crying over someone who hasn’t committed to you.”

“You’re crying over someone who is perfectly comfortable receiving everything you have to give without giving you the same thing in return.”

And just like that...

My frontal lobe developed.

Or at least that’s what it felt like.

It wasn’t that I stopped loving them instantly.

It wasn’t that the feelings disappeared.

It was that reality finally became louder than the fantasy.

And I think many of us need that moment.

Not necessarily in a kitchen.

But somewhere.

A moment where your sense of self finally catches up with your feelings.

A moment where you realize:

I cannot keep suffering on the altar of love.

I cannot keep begging for what should be freely given.

I cannot keep choosing someone who refuses to choose me.

That day, I left the kitchen and made a decision.

I wanted better for myself.

And if you’re reading this, maybe you want better for yourself too.

So let me share a few things I learned.

1. Fill your own voids first.

I am starting here because this changed everything for me.

One of the reasons I stayed in situations longer than I should have was because I wanted someone else to fill a void inside me.

The void of loneliness.

The void of validation.

The void of feeling chosen.

The void of feeling enough.

But another person cannot permanently fix what you have not addressed within yourself.

If you are single right now, use this season well.

Build a life you enjoy.

Build a relationship with yourself.

Fill those empty spaces.

So that when someone enters your life, they are adding to it—not becoming responsible for it.

2. Pace yourself.

When someone new comes into your life, slow down.

Please.

Do not start imagining your future together after three good conversations.

Do not start planning a life with someone who has not even shown you consistent effort.

Allow people to reveal themselves over time.

Allow actions to speak louder than potential.

The truth is that compatibility is not discovered in a day.

Character is not revealed in a day.

And commitment certainly isn’t proven in a day.

Pace yourself.

3. Stop playing the role before you get the position.

This one may hurt.

But somebody has to say it.

Do not act like someone’s partner when they have not made you their partner.

Do not give relationship-level access to people who have offered friendship-level commitment.

I know.

I know.

But hear me out.

People are not always malicious.

Sometimes they are simply selfish.

You make them feel good.

You listen.

You care.

You’re available.

And because they enjoy having you around, they keep you around.

Not because they want to build a future with you.

But because they enjoy the benefits.

You have to be honest enough to recognize the difference.

4. Look at reality, not potential.

One of the most painful things we do is fall in love with possibilities.

Not who someone is.

Who they could be.

Not what they are giving us.

What we hope they will give us someday.

Reality matters.

If someone tells you they don’t want commitment, believe them.

If someone consistently shows you where you rank in their life, believe them.

Stop negotiating with reality.

It always wins.

5. Remember that you come first in your own life.

Your peace comes first.

Your well-being comes first.

Your happiness comes first.

You come first.

And I don’t mean that in a selfish way.

I mean it in a healthy way.

Because if you have built a home within yourself, you can always return there.

No matter who leaves.

No matter who stays.

No matter who chooses you.

Or doesn’t.

You will still have you.

And that matters.

I think one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is this:

Love should not feel like constant suffering.

Love should not feel like anxiety half the time and relief the other half.

Love should not feel like confusion dressed up as chemistry.

If your nervous system is constantly stressed...

If you’re always wondering where you stand...

If you’re always trying to earn what should be freely given...

Something is wrong.

And maybe that’s the real sign that your frontal lobe has developed.

Not that you stop loving.

Not that you become cold.

Not that you stop believing in love.

But that you finally start choosing yourself too.

And if your frontal lobe hasn’t developed yet, that’s okay.

Maybe one day it will happen while you’re doing the dishes.

Maybe it’ll happen during a conversation with a friend.

Maybe it’ll happen lying awake at 2 a.m.

But when it does, I hope you listen.

Because sometimes the greatest act of love is not choosing someone else.

It’s choosing yourself.

And that’s all for now.

Love,

Oluwaseyi 🤍

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Today, I received some news that made my chest feel tight.

You know that kind of feeling where your heart suddenly feels heavy?

Like something drops inside of you.

And for a moment, everything feels difficult.

Usually, when things like that happen, I try to escape.

I drop my phone.

I stop scrolling.

Sometimes I sleep.

Sometimes I pray.

Sometimes I just try not to sit with the feeling at all.

But today, I remembered something:

Worrying changes nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

I spent hours worrying today.

And guess what changed?

Nothing.

The problem was still there.

The situation was still there.

The only difference was that now, I was exhausted too.

And I think that is what I want to write to you about today:

Surrender.

Not pretending things do not hurt.

Not pretending life is easy.

Not pretending you are unaffected.

But learning to release what is outside your control.

Because I think many of us spend too much time trying to hold things we were never meant to carry.

So here is something I want you to practice the next time worry starts consuming you:

Pause.

And ask yourself:

What can I control right now?

Can you send the email?

Can you make the call?

Can you apply for the opportunity?

Can you apologize?

Can you show up?

Can you take the next step?

Do that.

Do what is within your control.

And then ask yourself:

What is outside my control?

The outcome?

People’s reactions?

Timing?

The algorithm?

Whether they choose you?

Whether things happen exactly the way you want?

Those things you must learn to release.

Because worrying about things outside your control does not change them.

It only keeps your mind busy.

Keeps your heart occupied.

Keeps your body tense.

And sometimes, we confuse worrying with solving the problem.

But they are not the same thing.

So here’s a little thing I do that may help you too.

When anxiety starts rising in my chest, I slow down.

I breathe deeply.

Inhale.

Hold it.

Exhale slowly.

And I remind myself:

“What can I do right now?”

Because sometimes the answer is simple.

Pray.

Take a walk.

Drink water.

Listen to music.

Move your body.

Rest.

Send the message.

Post the video.

Do your part.

And release the rest.

I think surrender is understanding that you are human.

You cannot carry everything.

Even as a content creator, this is something I constantly remind myself.

You cannot control the algorithm.

You cannot force people to respond.

You cannot obsess over numbers all day.

What can you control?

Showing up.

Creating.

Trying again.

Learning.

Improving.

That part is yours.

The rest?

Release it.

Today, I actually wanted to write to you about love.

About choosing the kind of love that sees you.

The kind of love that chooses you every single day.

And maybe one day soon, I will.

Because there is so much I want to say about love.

But maybe for now, this is enough:

Choose peace.

Choose release.

Choose surrender.

And remember:

You do not have to carry everything alone.

Focus on what you can do.

And surrender the rest.

And that’s all for now.

Love,
Oluwaseyi 🤍

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Hey you,

I find that many people do not fully understand what they are capable of.

They have not yet identified the potential that is embedded in them.

And sometimes, that is not their fault.

Sometimes, you grow up in environments that stifle what has been placed inside of you.

Maybe you were a child who was deeply creative.

Maybe you loved to draw, to write, to sing, to speak.

And instead of that gift being nurtured, you were told what your life should look like.

That was my story.

I talked a lot as a child.

People would say, “This girl will make a great lawyer,” or “She would be an excellent broadcaster.”

But my father insisted that I study medicine.

And so I did.

Don’t get me wrong I am grateful to be a doctor.

I truly am.

But if I’m being honest, I’m not sure that is the path I would have chosen for myself.

It felt like the decision had already been made for me.

And I think many of us are living lives that were chosen for us.

By our parents.

By society.

By fear.

By expectations.

And somewhere along the way, we lose sight of what is actually inside of us.

So let me tell you something I have come to believe very strongly:

If you do not change your inside, your outside does not matter.

You can move to another city.

Start a new job.

Enter a new relationship.

Build a different life.

But if you do not address what is happening on your inside, you will recreate the same patterns.

Because sometimes the environment is not the real issue.

Sometimes the issue is what you believe about yourself.

And one of the biggest reasons people settle for less than they deserve is because they believe that is all they are worthy of.

So they accept jobs that undervalue them.

Relationships that diminish them.

Lives that feel far smaller than what they were meant to live.

Not because that is all that is available but because that is all they believe they deserve.

And that is why knowing your worth is so important.

Because when you truly understand the value you carry, everything begins to change.

You stop settling for crumbs.

You stop accepting “just enough.”

You stop shrinking yourself to fit places that were never designed to hold you.

And you begin to set standards.

You begin to ask for more.

You begin to expect more.

Not from arrogance.

But from understanding.

You know what you bring to the table.

And until you know that, the world will continue to offer you less than you deserve.

So I want you to sit with yourself this weekend.

Really sit with yourself.

What is inside of you?

What gifts have been overlooked?

What strengths have you minimized?

What value have you been carrying all along?

Because when you begin to understand your worth, you stop waiting for others to validate it.

You carry yourself differently.

And people respond accordingly.

That is exactly why I am hosting a free workshop this month called Know Your Worth.

You are the first to hear about it because you receive these letters.

The workshop will take place on May 29th, and I would love for you to join me.

It’s virtual so you can join from anywhere in the world

I have also put together two free guides to help you begin the inner work of discovering your worth and understanding the value you carry.

As soon as you register you get access to them.

If this letter resonated with you, I encourage you to save your spot.

The registration link is right here 👇

Get Access

I cannot wait to have you in the room.

And remember:

Until you know what you bring to the table, they will not save a seat for you.

So it is time to discover your worth, own your value, and take your seat.

And that’s all for now.

Love,
Oluwaseyi 🤍

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Do you know that Everyone has a story.
And everyone has a beginning.

Some people started in small corners.
Some in cramped rooms.
Some in basements, shared apartments, or places nobody would expect success to grow from.

And somehow… they built something anyway.

My first ever content was filmed in a shared accommodation with refugees.

Why am I saying this?

Because we often imagine that people “arrive” fully formed. That success just appears one day like it came out of nowhere.

But if you look closely, you’ll see a pattern:

Most people kept showing up in small, unimpressive spaces long before anything looked successful.

They didn’t start perfect.
They started available.

And I think one of the biggest reasons many people never begin is perfectionism.

We wait for the perfect setup.
The perfect idea.
The perfect camera.
The perfect confidence.
The perfect version of ourselves.

But perfection never shows up first.

Only action does.

And here’s something I’ve learned:
That messy beginning you’re trying to hide? It is part of your story.

That “not good enough” video.
That rough draft.
That first attempt that feels embarrassing.

It’s not a mistake in your journey it is your journey.

Trying to erase that stage is often why people stay stuck.

Because nothing ever gets started.

I didn’t know anything about this space a few years ago. I still don’t know everything now. But I’m learning on the job. And that’s exactly the point.

So what do you do with what you have right now?

Let me break it down simply:

1. Look around you

What do you already have? Skills, tools, ideas, access start there.

2. Use what you have

You don’t need more to begin. You need movement. Start with what is available.

3. Stop waiting to feel “ready”

You don’t become great and then start. You start and become great.

4. Stop seeking constant validation

If you wait for everyone to approve your beginning, you may never begin at all.

5. Document your process

Don’t just wait for the “final version.” Capture the evolution. That’s where the story lives.

And finally:

Show your work.

Put it out there.
The imperfect version.
The early version.
The learning version.

Because that’s how everything meaningful is built.

Over time, I’ve noticed my own work changing style, quality, direction, clarity. And it didn’t happen because I waited. It happened because I kept showing up.

This is not about glorifying mediocrity.
It’s about respecting beginnings.

Your current best is not your final best it’s just your current level of exposure, experience, and action.

And that’s okay.

So start.
Post it.
Send it.
Film it.
Write it.

Show your work.

And let it grow in public.

That’s all for now.

Love,
Oluwaseyi 🤍

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There’s something I’ve been thinking about.

When you’re trying to move forward in life… but you keep looking backwards, you can’t really see where you’re going.

And I get it.

Moving on is not always easy.

But I think it’s something we have to learn.

Not just learn but master.

Learn to move on quickly.

From the good.
From the bad.
From what worked.
From what didn’t.

And not because you’re ungrateful.

But because sometimes, we stay in places longer than we’re meant to.

There’s a part of Scripture that says:

“You have stayed at this mountain for too long.”

And I think about that a lot.

Because it’s possible to stay in a place—mentally, emotionally, even spiritually longer than you should.

You can stay in old memories.
Old versions of yourself.
Old pain.

For far too long.

And sometimes, it’s not even the good things holding you back.

It’s your past.

“Yes, I used to be this kind of person.”
“Yes, I made those mistakes.”
“Yes, my past was messy.”

But must that define who you are now?

Must that define where you’re going?

Because I’ve seen something happen.

People go through hard things painful things and instead of moving forward, they stay there.

Not because they have to.

But because they believe they deserve it.

They think:

“After everything I’ve done… maybe this is my portion.”
“Maybe this is what I deserve.”

And I won’t lie to you I’ve been there.

For the longest time, I didn’t think I deserved certain things.

Because of my past.
Because of the things I had done.
Because of who I used to be.

I felt like I owed my past something.
Like I had to sit in it.
Like I couldn’t fully step into something new.

But that was not truth.

That was just the past trying to keep me where it found me.

So how do you move on?

Not just in theory but in real life?

You start here:

You forgive yourself.

Not once.
Not casually.

But intentionally.

You forgive yourself for what you did.
For what you didn’t know.
For what you wish you had done differently.

Because if you don’t, you will keep punishing yourself
long after the moment has passed.

And then

You acknowledge it happened.

Not by pretending it didn’t exist.
Not by burying it.

But by saying:

“Yes, that was me.
Yes, that happened.
But that is not who I am becoming.”

You don’t heal by denying your past.

You heal by refusing to live in it.

Because your past is not your punishment.

And it is not your identity.

You are allowed to become a new person.

You are allowed to try again.

You are allowed to build again.

You are allowed to choose differently.

But you cannot do that while holding tightly to who you used to be.

Because looking ahead requires something from you.

It requires that you let go.

Think about it like this:

When your fist is closed,
you cannot receive anything new.

And holding onto your past your mistakes, your regrets, your old life is like tightening that fist.

So tight.. that nothing new can enter.

So what’s it going to be?

Are you going to keep holding on?

Or are you going to open your hands… and receive what’s ahead?

Because your future needs space.

And sometimes, the only way to make that space is to let go.

And that’s all for now.

Love,
Oluwaseyi 🤍

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Have you ever found yourself in a place where you look around and it seems like everybody is achieving something?

Someone is buying a car.
Someone just had a child.
Someone just got married.
Someone is doing something.

Everybody seems to be moving forward…

And you feel like you’re just in one spot.

I’m not even going to lie to you I go through this. Almost every year.

I was having a conversation with my best friend, and we were talking about this exact thing.

How we’ll see someone doing something amazing, and the first thought is:

“Oh wow, that’s great.”

And then immediately after:

“Oh my God… my life is such a mess. Everyone is moving forward except me.”

And the funny thing?

While we were talking about it, it happened again.

That exact feeling.

And I realized something.

We’ve practiced this.

We’ve trained ourselves to respond this way.

Because when you come on the internet especially now it’s so curated.

So polished.

So intentional.

And with how easy it is to scroll, you just keep going…

And it becomes one quiet heartbreak after another.

Because what you’re seeing is a version of reality where it feels like everyone is progressing…

And you’re not.

But here’s something I want you to understand.

There is always a full reality.

What we see online is often the part people choose to show.

The happiest moments.
The wins.
The milestones.

And I’m not saying those moments aren’t real.

They are.

But they’re not everything.

And just because you’re not seeing the full picture doesn’t mean your life is lacking.

Because here’s the truth:

The life you are feeling discontent about…

Is the life someone else is praying for.

I’ve seen it in my own life.

Even in some of the hardest seasons I’ve had seasons where I felt completely lost There were people who desired that exact life.

Isn’t that something? So what does that tell you?

It tells you that maybe… you’re not behind.

Maybe you’re just looking at your life through the wrong lens.

So here’s something I’ve started doing and I want you to try it too.

I call it:

Take a note. Give a note.

Whenever you see someone doing something amazing something you wish you had achieved

Instead of shrinking, do this:

Take a note.
What are they doing well?
Are they consistent?
Are they showing up?
Are they putting themselves out there?

Learn from it.

Then

Give a note.
Celebrate them.

“Wow, this is amazing.”
“Congratulations.”
“This is so good to see.”

Because this is how you ground yourself.

This is how you stay rooted.

Because the truth is, every single day you open social media…

Someone will be doing something.

Someone will be getting married.
Someone will be buying a house.
Someone will be achieving something.

And that should not shake you.

It should not define how you see your own life.

So this week?

We’re doing something different.

We’re taking a note.
We’re giving a note.

And we’re reminding ourselves that what we see is not the full reality.

And even if it feels like it is

It doesn’t get to control how we feel about ourselves.

And that’s all for now.

Love,
Oluwaseyi 🤍

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Just imagine me holding your hand while you read this.

I’ve realized something about my life.

I have spent a lot of it in uncomfortable spaces…
but also, strangely, avoiding certain kinds of discomfort.

The kind that asks you to change.
To choose differently.
To let go.

And I didn’t always do that well.

I remember when I failed out of medical school.

(Yes, we’re going there.)

The easiest thing for me to do at the time was to adjust.
Pick another course. Move on. Accept it.

So I chose sociology.

And there was nothing wrong with that.

But deep down, I knew it wasn’t what I truly wanted.

Comfort would have been staying there.
Blending in. Making it work.

But something in me refused.

So I did the hard thing.

I wrote JAMB again.

I chose uncertainty over comfort.

And that wasn’t the last time I had to learn that lesson.

Even in love, I had to face it.

I used to stay in situations that weren’t good for me.

Not because I didn’t know better but because leaving felt harder than staying.

It was easier to abandon myself and keep them…
than to let them go and choose me.

Because for the longest time,
I didn’t even know what choosing myself looked like.

So I avoided the hard thing.

And I paid for it.

But here’s what I’m learning now:

Comfort is not always safe.

Sometimes, comfort is what keeps you stuck.

Especially when you’ve been doing something for so long that it feels familiar… even when it’s not working.

There comes a point where you have to sit with yourself and ask:

Is this actually working for me?

And if the answer is no
then something has to change.

Even if it’s uncomfortable.

Even if it’s scary.

Because the discomfort of growth
is very different from the discomfort of staying stuck.

One moves you forward.

The other keeps you in place.

A few days ago, I was scared to put something out.

I kept overthinking it. Delaying. Questioning myself.

And then… I just did it.

And almost immediately, the fear disappeared.

It reminded me of something I once read in The Game of Life and How to Play It—
that when you walk toward your fear, you often realize there was nothing there to begin with.

And I’ve seen that play out in my own life.

The things we avoid sometimes aren’t as big as we’ve made them in our minds.

So maybe this weekend, you try something small:

Walk toward something you’ve been avoiding.

Learn to do hard things.

Not everything at once.

Just one thing.

Because here’s the truth:

We are shaped by the hard things.

We are stretched by the hard things.

We are formed by the hard things.

Think about it like going to the gym.

No one builds strength by avoiding resistance.

You build it by showing up.
By lifting.
By doing what feels uncomfortable consistently.

That’s how growth happens.

So I’ll leave you with this:

What is the hard thing you’ve been avoiding?

And what would happen if you faced it?

Maybe not perfectly.
Maybe not all at once.

But just… started.

Because the life you want will require it.

Learn to do hard things .

And that’s all for now.

Love,
Oluwaseyi 🤍

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They said they were approaching their mid-20s… and they felt like their life was falling apart because they didn’t have anything figured out yet.

They felt behind.
Confused.
A little panicked.

And I just paused… because I remember that feeling so clearly.

When I was 22, I was upset with myself for not writing my memoir.

Yes my memoir.

At 22.

(And I know how that sounds.)

But in my head, it made sense. I had already lived through so much. I had gone through experiences that felt big, heavy, and worth telling. And I thought that by then, I should have turned it into something. Something complete. Something meaningful. Something done.

And when I hadn’t… I felt like I was failing.

I remember crying on my birthday that year.

Feeling like nothing was happening in my life.
Like I was behind.
Like I had missed something.

And now, looking back?

I wish I had been kinder to myself.

I really do.

Because here’s what I understand now that I didn’t understand then:

Your 20s are not for having everything figured out.

They’re for figuring things out.

There’s a difference.

Some people might seem like they have it all together—and maybe they do.

But a lot of people don’t.

Some people are in their 30s and still don’t.

And that’s okay.

Because life is not a checklist you have to complete by a certain age.

Somewhere along the way, we were given these quiet expectations:

You should have a clear plan.
You should be successful early.
You should have things “together” by now.

But who decided that?

And more importantly why are we living our lives by timelines we didn’t even create?

If you’re in your 20s right now, I want to tell you something gently:

Find what you like.

Not what looks good.
Not what impresses people.
Not what feels like the “right” thing to do.

What you actually like.

And pour yourself into it.

And here’s the part people don’t always say:

What you like will change.

You’ll outgrow things.
You’ll discover new interests.
You’ll shift.

And that’s not failure that’s growth.

So allow yourself to explore without turning every decision into a life-defining moment.

Build things, yes.

Work hard, yes.

Care about your life, absolutely.

But don’t treat it like a do-or-die situation.

Don’t pressure yourself so much that you forget to actually live.

Because one day, your 20s will be over.

And you don’t want to look back and realize you spent all of it stressed, anxious, and trying to meet expectations that were never really yours.

Go out with your friends.

Make memories.

Laugh.

Try things.

Fail at things.

Start again.

Be serious about your life but not at the expense of your joy.

If I could speak to my 22-year-old self, I would say:

Calm down.

You’re not behind.

You’re becoming.

And you’re allowed to take your time.

So if you feel like you don’t have it all figured out yet Good.

You’re exactly where you need to be.

And that’s all for now.

Love,
Oluwaseyi

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Not because something new happened but because something I had already lived through came back in a different form.

I shared a story I had never told online before.

And even though I’ve moved forward from that season of my life, telling it again made me realize something important:

Some experiences don’t just belong in the past they keep revealing who you are long after they’re over.

I used to think resilience was something you prove in the moment.

Like it’s only about what you survive.

But I’m starting to see it differently now.

Resilience is also what happens after.

It’s what you decide about yourself when the chaos is gone but the memory is still there.

It’s what you build when nobody is forcing you to survive anymore but you still choose to move forward anyway.

Because here’s the truth I’ve been sitting with this week:

It’s easy to think strength only shows up in extreme moments.

But the real test is what you do when life becomes ordinary again.

When there’s no urgency pushing you.

No immediate crisis forcing your hand.

Just you… and your choices.

That’s where a different kind of discipline is required.

The kind that doesn’t come from fear but from direction.

And I think that’s what I’m learning right now.

That there is something in me that cannot afford to live casually.

Not because life is always dramatic.

But because purpose doesn’t respond well to neglect.

It needs attention.

It needs consistency.

It needs you to keep showing up even when no one is clapping for you.

So when I think about everything I’ve lived through, I don’t just see survival anymore.

I see responsibility.

Responsibility to what I’ve been given.

Responsibility to what I’ve seen.

Responsibility to what I still want to build.

And maybe that’s what I want to leave you with this week.

Not a reminder of struggle but a reminder of direction.

You don’t need life to fall apart to become serious about your life.

You can choose that now.

Quietly.

Intentionally.

Without waiting for a crisis to justify it.

Because giving up doesn’t usually happen in one moment.

It happens slowly when you stop paying attention to what you’re building.

So this week, I’m choosing something different.

To stay with it.

To keep building.

To treat my life like it matters even in the ordinary days.

And maybe you can too.

We’re not just surviving anymore.

We’re building.

And that’s all for now.

Love,

Oluwaseyi

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I booked the wrong ticket.

And honestly, at this point, I think my life should be a reality show.

I was in Warsaw for an event, and sometime in the middle of the night like 2 a.m. 2 nights before, I booked my return ticket.

Because, in my head, I’m one of those people who thrives at midnight.

Sharp. Focused. Elite decision-maker.

Yeah… about that.

Fast forward to the day I’m leaving.

I’m about to board the bus. They scan my ticket.

It doesn’t work.

The guy tries again.

Still nothing.

Then he checks the date.

April 17th.

Not April 10th.

My jaw actually dropped.

And the worst part? I had about 10 minutes before the bus left.

It was also 10:30 pm with no where to go.

So I stepped aside, opened my phone, and booked the same ticket again…

For 100% more.

Yes. Double the price. My last cash. Gone. Just like that.

And as I stood there, slightly panicking and slightly embarrassed, I started thinking:

How did I get here?

And the answer was simple.

I waited till the last minute.

I knew about this trip for two weeks.

Two full weeks.

But I still left it till 2 a.m. to book something that actually mattered.

Because somewhere along the way, I convinced myself of this idea:

“I work best under pressure.”

But let me tell you something.

That idea? It’s a lie.

Or at least… an expensive one.

Because working under pressure doesn’t make you sharper it just makes you more likely to make mistakes you now have to pay for.

Literally.

If I had just done it earlier, calmly, intentionally, I would’ve caught the date.

I would’ve saved my money.

I would’ve avoided the stress.

But when you live life like everything can be figured out “last minute,” you leave too much to chance.

And chance is not loyal.

Sometimes it works in your favor.

And sometimes… it costs you your last cash at a bus station in Warsaw.

So here’s what I’m learning (the hard way):

Be intentional.

Plan ahead.

Stop romanticizing last-minute chaos like it’s a personality trait.

Because it’s not.

It’s just a pattern that keeps putting you in avoidable situations.

And honestly?

Life already comes with enough surprises.

You don’t need to add more.

So if you’re like me always thinking “I’ll do it later,” “I’ll figure it out,” “I work better under pressure”

Take this as your sign.

Do it now.

Give yourself time.

Create space to think.

Because the life you want won’t be built by chance.

It’ll be built by intention.

So as much as you can… don’t leave your week to randomness.

It’s Monday a fresh start.

This week, try to be a little more intentional.

Or at least… try 😅

Anyway…

I’m just a girl figuring life out.

(And occasionally paying double for the lesson.)

I’m Oluwaseyi.

(Yes, we’re starting like that. Casual. Slightly awkward. Very on brand.)

Sometimes I describe myself as a creative.

Which is funny… because for the longest time, I didn’t think I was one.

In my head, “creative” meant something very specific. It meant people who had it all figured out. People who could sit down and intentionally craft something deep, meaningful, and beautifully structured.

Meanwhile, I was just… talking.

I’d show up online and say the most random things going on in my life at the time. Sharing chaotic experiences, small observations, slightly unhinged thoughts no grand plan, no big message. Just vibes.

Nothing that felt like it deserved the title creative.

But lately, I’ve been questioning that.

What does it actually mean to be creative?

And what if… it’s not about having everything perfectly thought out?

What if it’s just about expression?

Because if that’s the case, then maybe I’ve been creating all along. Just in a way I didn’t recognize.

And now here’s the twist:

I’m writing.

Which is new.

Or at least, it feels new.

For the longest time, I convinced myself that because I made talking-head videos, writing didn’t really belong in my world. Like I had to pick one lane and stay there.

But… what if I don’t?

What if I can just write my thoughts the same way I speak them?

What if this right here is another way of showing up?

So that’s what this is.

An outlet.

A space where I get to think out loud, but slower. Where I can sit with ideas instead of rushing past them. Where I can figure out, in real time, what it actually means (for me) to be a creative.

No pressure. No perfect structure. No pretending I have the answers.

Just honesty.

And if you’re reading this, I guess you’re part of it now.

I want to carry you along this journey not as someone who has figured it all out, but as someone who is actively figuring it out.

Oh and before I forget:

You’ll be hearing from me twice a week.
Mondays and Fridays.
Little letters like this, straight from my head (and sometimes my heart).

So if you’ve ever felt like you didn’t quite fit into the box you thought you were supposed to be in… Or like you had more to say, but didn’t know where to put it…

Or like you were waiting to feel “ready” before you started…

You’re in the right place.

We’re not waiting anymore.

We’re just starting.

Welcome 🤍

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